I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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