His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
