she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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