I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
