Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
