Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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