if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
