dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Randomize
