I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
