the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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