We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
