wanna go halves on a baby?
I have demons in me.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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