I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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