nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
porn star boner night. come get it.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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