I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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