she was so not down for the gang bang
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
