The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
