I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
is wine microwaveable?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
