I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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