I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
