please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
