if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
