I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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