No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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