my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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