Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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