i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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