we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
