God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize
