Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
