when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
