Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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