No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
