whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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