And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
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