so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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