What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
