11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
