you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
