i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
