I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
