like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
we're making bets on your personal life
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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