It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
