You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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