I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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