If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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