As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
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