I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
