i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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