I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I will be naked everywhere
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
