I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize