I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize