omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Pants are for mortals
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
