sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize