so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
