Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
North Korea, Best Korea!
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
