meet me or not, i'm out of control
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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