Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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