I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
