I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
