I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize