fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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