Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
