I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
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