if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
