I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
whose parrot is this?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
