He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
