I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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