my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
