frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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